My School Report
by Qu33rzi
Summary: Yako's son gives a report about himself and his family. Has one sexual innuendo.One-shot


Hi again! I have updated my College Horror story's chapter 3 but the website's being uber weird and is not showing I've added another chapter.

So please good readers, go to the College Horror story anway and just click on the chapter bar. It's there, I promise.

So here's a one-shot I came up with, not the one I mentioned doing in the College Horror story chapter 3, and I really hope it shows up on the website.

(Not related to College Horror, or at least I don't think it will be... might change...)

EDIT: -1/22/2012- No matter how hard I try, Love Potions chapter 3 and the remake of chapter 1 is fighting me... and I think they're winning...Sorry folks, might take a little more time... But in the meantime, I'll remake this cute fic-let and write a 5o sentence challenge. Thanks! ~Qu33rzi

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><p>"Shi-kun?" Hishima-sensei looks at me and smiles. "It's time to give your report." I smile. I liked Hishima-sensei. She was really nice... I hope she stays longer than my last teacher..."Ok~! Coming Sensei!"<p>

I run to the front of the room holding my report in one hand, the report I had spent ALL NIGHT ON! A-chan, or Onee-san as she kept telling me to call her, told me it was silly to put so much effort into it. But I liked doing it. So...

"Ready, Sensei~!" I looked down at the report and started to read.

**AN-(Shi-Kun's school report is centered text)**

This is my school report on me and my family!

My name is Nougami Eishi.

I am 6 years old!

Everyone calls me Shi-kun.

Well, except for Daddy.

He calls me "hatchling" and he calls A-chan that too.

A-chan is my sister.

She's 14 years old and really bossy.

She's a lot like Daddy.

She likes crossword puzzles just like Daddy.

I'm told I'm a lot like Mommy.

When Mommy and I walk into a buffet, all the chefs groan.

I like to eat lots of food like Mommy.

We can clean out a super-deluxe buffet in 15 minutes and still ask for more.

Mommy has blond hair and a BIG tummy like me!

She's small compared to Daddy.

She's kinda short.

I look a bit like Mommy.

I have eyes like Mommy, but my hair is like Daddy's.

It's got a black bangs in front and yellow-green hair in the back.

A-chan has green eyes like Daddy and yellow hair like Mommy.

Mommy said I got named after a detective she knew.

She said the detective was very smart, really loved his family and was a hero.

A-chan's named after a friend of Mommy's.

Her name was Akane.

Mommy said that Akane (her friend) was really really smart and perceptive.

I don't know what perceptive means, but I don't think it's a good thing.

Because A-chan's always complaining about how I got named after a hero and she got named after someone who was 'perceptive'.

Daddy told her right after she said that, that Akane was the smartest slave he ever had.

I don't know what 'slave' means either, but it must not be a very good thing.

Because A-chan started yelling at Daddy right after he said that.

A-chan keeps telling me to call her Nee-san, but I think A-chan sounds better.

Mommy thinks that A-chan is just trying to deal with growing up.

She said that she had to deal with those issues when she was a girl.

Mommy was a high-school detective when she was a girl.

She had Daddy as an assistant.

But, she's still a detective and she still has Daddy for an assistant.

She's really really super famous and the police are always coming to her for help.

Mommy really loves Daddy.

Daddy loves her too.

Daddy also loves playing tricks.

He sets up trip wires and traps with to make Mommy fall.

Or slam into the wall.

But Daddy always smiles and kisses Mommy a lot when she falls.

Mommy sometimes gets mad, but mostly she just kisses him back.

Daddy calls her special names.

He calls her, louse, maggot, worm, or dish-rag.

Uncle Godai has special names for Daddy too, like monster or freak.

Uncle Godai is weird.

He wears lots of metal thingies.

And his hair's 'bleached'.

I don't know what 'bleached' means.

But Daddy used a magnet on Uncle Godai once.

Mommy said not to repeat the words Uncle Godai screams when he's angry.

(She said they're bad words.)

But Uncle Godai can also be really kind.

He gave Mommy flowers once.

The flowers were really pretty too.

But Daddy got mad and hit him.

Then he told me that Uncle Godai's also a slave.

I asked Uncle Godai to explain it, but he said no way.

Uncle Godai also said that Daddy tortures Mommy.

I don't know what torture is, so I asked Daddy.

Daddy said that torture is something you do to your mate and that it's like what he does to Mommy.

Right after that he caught Mommy in a trap and hung her by her feet from a ceiling fan.

Then he turned it on.

Daddy is funny.

I asked him if I could do that.

He said I could only do it to my mate and only when I grew older.

I don't know where Daddy came from, but Mommy said that Daddy came from a far away place that's very hot.

Mommy and Daddy are a lot alike.

They both love to eat.

I've never seen Daddy eat, but I know he's always hungry.

He's always dragging Mommy out the front door, saying he needs more food to get rid of his hunger.

Sometimes he drags Mommy into the bedroom, saying he's hungry.

Mommy and Daddy don't come out for a long time when that happens.

I asked A-chan and she said I'll find out when I'm older.

It seems like interesting things will only happen when I'm older.

I wish I was older.

I want to be just like Mommy when I grow up.

I don't think I could be a good investigator...

(A-chan says that's what she's going to be)

But I could make a great food-taster!

And that's the end of my report~!

"Can I sit down now Sensei~?" I look up at Hishima-sensei and the class. Hishima-sensei looks weird. She's all frozen-ish, just like the neighbors are when they complain and end up talking with Daddy.

The class cheers. "Wow, Shi-kun, your dad hung your mom from a ceiling fan? I wish mine did that!"

Hishima-sensei looks scared. She nods really stiff and then stands up. "Ok, class. Please excuse me, while I-I-I-I..." She takes a deep breath. "Please wait while I go to the bathroom."

We wait a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time. But she doesn't ever come back. A few hours later, the bell rings and we leave. Then I walk home with A-chan.

On the way home, A-chan asks "How did your report go?"

"The class loved it~!" I frown though when I remember the teacher.

"What's wrong, Eishi?" A-chan stops before going in the food store to pick up more food for me and Mommy.

"My teacher must have had a long pee. She stayed in the bathroom for the rest of the school day." I tell A-chan.

A-chan opens her mouth and then she closes it. "I see..." A-chan gives me a really weird look. "She must have loved it very much." A-chan says to me.

I smile when A-chan tells me that. "Yeah~! Maybe she loved it so much she didn't want to hear any other ones and hid in the bathroom~!" I cheer as we enter the store.

"...I'm sure that's not the only reason she hid in the bathroom..." A-chan mutters.

"What did you say A-chan?" I ask.

"Oh, never mind." A-chan spots a grocery cart and grabs it. Then we get food and go home.

A-chan asks me another weird question on the way home. "...Eishi... You didn't accidentally do that voice trick that scares people like Daddy does with his eyes, did you?"

"Uh~?" I didn't remember changing my voice, but sometimes it happened by accident. Like the time I told some big old lady, who was telling me not to play on her yard, to stop telling me what to do.

She immediately ran screaming after I finished my sentence. Mommy and Daddy checked my ability later and found out that it only works on women older than 20.

I don't try to do it, but sometimes it just slips out. Oops. "That's too bad. She was pretty, I was hoping she'd stay." I tell A-chan. A-chan just sighs.

.

Meanwhile, in Shi-kun's school...

A teacher named Hishima Ayama is found in a restroom stall shivering with fright, muttering about food-tasters and ceiling fans.

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><p>I really hope someone gets to read this, because right now, the website is not showing my updates. Please review!<p> 


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